[OF COURSE YOU SHOULD WANT TO LIVE LOTUS!! No matter how much Ene might not personally like her, she doesn't want to see anyone die because they think they aren't worth it.]
Nobody wants to die. Hell, I don't want to die, even if I'm willing to. Everyone here has been placed in an awful position, including you. And we've all had to do awful things to get by. You're not special in that, Lotus. Don't get me wrong, you've done some particularly dickish things, and others should be rightfully mad until you make amends to them. But you're not responsible for every bad thing that happens here, and you can't do anything to make what you are responsible for right if you're dead.
You don't deserve to be dead.
Go get your consolation prize, meet up with Natsuhi, go home and live well. And try and fit some therapy in there, jeez!
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Nobody wants to die. Hell, I don't want to die, even if I'm willing to. Everyone here has been placed in an awful position, including you. And we've all had to do awful things to get by. You're not special in that, Lotus. Don't get me wrong, you've done some particularly dickish things, and others should be rightfully mad until you make amends to them. But you're not responsible for every bad thing that happens here, and you can't do anything to make what you are responsible for right if you're dead.
You don't deserve to be dead.
Go get your consolation prize, meet up with Natsuhi, go home and live well. And try and fit some therapy in there, jeez!