Day 3, overnight

[snackcakeordeath]

[Just before the time votes generally get announced, the smoke alarm in the basement starts giving an ear-splitting buzz. Hope you weren't trying to get some quiet time in your dressing room, since for a good five, ten minutes, it is not very quiet.

[Then, thankfully, the alarm shuts off abruptly. A moment later, Little Debbie herself comes shrieking over the monitors. She looks furious.]

What in the world do you devil squares think you're doing!? You had to do this today? Really? First, the cold fishest of dates, then the world's most boringest voting, and now you're messing up our stuff? Don't you know what all we're dealing with here!?

Seriously, if it wasn't such an important day, you guys'd be in sooo much trouble! So give your praises for my my sweet fucking demeanor-slash-absolute lack of time right now for dealing with this dollar bin garbage, and start getting your keisters in gear! Romance is a legitimate genre, just look at the book sales! And I want a piece of that Fabio pie! So you nutty buddies are gonna get out there, you're gonna date, there's gonna be some sparks, and we're gonna get top trending numbers tomorrow, or else!

[The girl stomps her foot, near tantrum; Swiss Miss takes over.]

Whatever you think you've done, it did not work. No more mini-marshmallows until you improve. Marshmallows are for closers.



PS, Kimi and Elise are dead.


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Comments

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

So in whatever strange woo-woo magical world you're from, do you happen to have rabies shots?

[i_like_ike]

No...?

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

Hmph. Your idiot friend Chunk got himself mauled by some animal; since you're not a complete idiot I presumed you might know if that's just a regular occurrence for you people.

[i_like_ike]

...Lately I've been considering picking up healing magic. I should be able to help him.

[YES FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS MIN-MAXED get this boy back on track to learning staves]

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

I can't imagine it wouldn't come in handy every single day. Or even basic first aid.

[i_like_ike]

I do know basic first aid. And there is a certain demeanor expected of clerics...

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

I can't imagine many wounded turning down help because they aren't faced with an even-tempered man-of-god type, and if they did, perhaps they don't need to get better after all.

[i_like_ike]

That's true. Though it would also be something of a nuisance for me.

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

You couldn't charge extra for your services? Healthcare is considered quite the value add where I'm from.

[i_like_ike]

Obviously I could and would. But then we'll come across someone who can't afford it, and Ike will swoop in with his puppy dog eyes...

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

I see your problem. Maybe leave him outside, surely there'll be some critter companions to distract him.

[i_like_ike]

It's no good. He can be very determined once he's put his mind to something.

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

I find that providing as little information as possible tends to prevent others from messing around in your business. Of course, it helps when you only have people around who aren't very curious.

[i_like_ike]

If it were anyone else, I'd be inclined to agree, but ultimately my purpose is to support Ike. My business is his, and vice versa.

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

In that case, you may just have to live with random acts of charity. Though I suppose you could always just tie him up instead.