Day 2, continued

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Around lunchtime, the tablets and screens located all around the studio turn on, in the way that they always do when the mascots have something to announce. Unusually, however, there is no music, no fanfare; the camera is out of focus, and Ronald doesn’t even seem to be looking at it. Instead, he's turned to King, ]

—supposed to be 40! What the McFuck are you doing? Can you even count?

[ The King stares. ]

You gave out 41! The Colonel would never screw up like that!

[ The King stares. ]

And what's this, "Quarter Pounder or Whopper" garbage? Those aren't equivalent burgers, you fake-grill-line-adding piece of shit! I'd better not see this referencing this in your next ad campaign!

[ The King offers a Whopper. Ronald McDonald smacks it out of his hand. He starts to yell again, but cuts himself off, turning his head toward the camera. ]

—Are we rolling!? Grimace, kill the feed!

[ The screens switch off. ]

((lol I goofed, there are actually 41 votes to go around.

Vote here!
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Comments

[jinglebros]

My heart, it hurts!

[ Santa staggers a bit more, as if he's dying. ]

[rowboats]

...do you really like the Hamburglar that much?

[ weirdo ]

[jinglebros]

Not nearly as much as the King.

[ IT'S CALLED HAVING TASTE ]

[rowboats]

[ shooting him A Look.

She may or may not think he's being goofy just to be patronizing. ]

[jinglebros]

[ He raises an eyebrow and shows off his brand new arm tat of the King for her. ]

[rowboats]

...you should only get tattoos of things you really like, because they can never come off.

[ it's phrased like a question. is he serious, oh my god. ]

[jinglebros]

He likes me back~. He even sent me a special hamburger~.

[ Singsong voice. ]

[rowboats]

[ ....oh.

Ib begins to stuff more fries into her mouth because this conversation suddenly got really embarrassing. She doesn't want to hear about your strange romance!! ]

[jinglebros]

But I'm promised to another, so he better try real hard if he actually wants to court me.

[ Santa is playing this up too much, probably. ]

[rowboats]

[ LA LA LA SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU THERE'S TOO MUCH DELICIOUS FOOD IN FRONT OF HER

She even puts her sunglasses back on. She can't deal with Santa/the Burger King being a thing, please save her. ]

[jinglebros]

[ HE CAN CATCH A HINT. ]

So what's your name anyway?

[rowboats]

[ He's going to have to wait a few moments as she finishes eating. ]

...Ib.

[jinglebros]

Hey there, Ib. I'm Santa.

[ He offers a hand to her. ]

[rowboats]

Like Santa Claus?

[ rel...uctantly shakes...no tricks, right? ]

[jinglebros]

[ No tricks! He lets go after she shakes. ]

Yep. Exactly like.

[rowboats]

Do your parents really like Christmas?

[ that is the only way someone could be named santa, in her mind ]

[jinglebros]

I'll tell you a secret? But you can't tell anyone.

[rowboats]

[ She looks suspicious. ]

...okay. What is it?

[jinglebros]

[ He leans in close and whispers into her ear. ]

That's not my real name.

[rowboats]

[ Well, that makes much more sense. Her eyes widen. ]

Really? What is it?

[jinglebros]

I could tell you that, but I'd need you to make me a promise.

[rowboats]

[ She thinks about that for a minute. ]

What kind of promise?

[jinglebros]

You'll have to promise me you'll do everything you can do to survive. And that you'll do everything you can to take care of another little girl here too. Her name is Mary.

[ He has no clue they know each other. ]

1/2

[rowboats]

Oh, did you talk to Mary? [ nodding ] I know her, I met her before we came here.

[rowboats]

[ And then she smiles. ]

I've got to go back and see mother and father again, and make sure Garry gets to go home, so...I'm going to try my very best.