Oct. 27th, 2017

snackcakeordeath: (never came out of a can)
[personal profile] snackcakeordeath


[For some reason, you feel good today...stronger. Which is great, maybe you're just psyched up for the latest ~fabulous event~ cooking from the ConAgra-McKee Foods kitchens...

[The Newlydead GameTM ✨Super-Special✨ 👻Spooktacular🎃! 🗡Murdermance💘 at the 💀Murder Manse🏚!

[The house is a huge, Victorian monstrosity straight out of the mental idea of an Edgar Allen Poe story--delicate wrought-iron chandeliers and candelabra hanging from vaulted ceilings; ornately carved molding and flocked wallpapers, mosaics and inlaid wood floors. Most of the rooms seem legitimately old, cobwebbed and musty, with dusty dropcloths laid over the faded furniture, and distressing shadows cast in the flickering candlelight that never fails to not light up every corner, no matter how many candles are set up. You're not sure how the cameras are picking all this up with how dark it is. You honestly wouldn't be surprised if some of the taps in the bathroom actually run blood. A few of the rooms are locked, in particular a few bedrooms on the upper floors, and a heavy door off the mud room that's chained and padlocked; presumably it leads to a cellar.

[The exception to this is the conservatory, the one large room in a building filled with tiny, closed off rooms. One wall is lined with massive paned windows, another a huge fireplace, the others covered in stern portraits and other random Victorian-area knick knacks. And sprinkled around all of that are Halloween decorations, the kind more Pottery Barn than Party City. It's set for a party, complete with games like bobbing for apples and a spread of fancy Halloween "finger" foods and drinks that glow under black light. A playlist of seasonal hits like Spooky or The Addams Family Groove toots along near a dance floor. Need an outfit for the costume contest? There's plenty. There's also a smoke machine and a photo booth. In the backyard is a corn maze.]

Hellooo contestants, guess what time it isss? Why, it's only the best time of the year for sweeties like us! Time for Pumpkin Delights and Black Cat Brownies, the perfect treats to give to your trick-or-treaters this year! Now, even though someone's given US a trick today, we've provided a treat for you--a Halloween ball! Play with your fellow Casanovas, make your best impressions, and grab your favorite Sexy Pizza Rat cosplay! At the end, you'll get to choose from all the remaining contestants for your Marry-Kiss-Kill. And remember what we talked about last night--this time, if you deal to make it even, you're all going to be punished!

[With murder, Swiss Miss adds. In case you weren't quite sure.]


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