Day 2, continued

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Around lunchtime, the tablets and screens located all around the studio turn on, in the way that they always do when the mascots have something to announce. Unusually, however, there is no music, no fanfare; the camera is out of focus, and Ronald doesn’t even seem to be looking at it. Instead, he's turned to King, ]

—supposed to be 40! What the McFuck are you doing? Can you even count?

[ The King stares. ]

You gave out 41! The Colonel would never screw up like that!

[ The King stares. ]

And what's this, "Quarter Pounder or Whopper" garbage? Those aren't equivalent burgers, you fake-grill-line-adding piece of shit! I'd better not see this referencing this in your next ad campaign!

[ The King offers a Whopper. Ronald McDonald smacks it out of his hand. He starts to yell again, but cuts himself off, turning his head toward the camera. ]

—Are we rolling!? Grimace, kill the feed!

[ The screens switch off. ]

((lol I goofed, there are actually 41 votes to go around.

Vote here!
Private posts
Contestant Roster & Status
Game navigation))

Comments

[unexpectedboner]

Just like a boy scout, I'm always prepared. I'm flexible and ready for anything!

[jinglebros]

Oh my god. Please think about what you just said.

[ Santa's not taking the bait this time! ]

[court_chesster]

Ookook!

[court_chesster]

D-don't teach him bad words! I'll get in so much trouble!

[partcompany]

...I think that's pretty reasonable given the situation.

[locktouching]

How terribly entertaining.

[jinglebros]

Sure, but they're more fun to put in random speech. Makes all the suckers freak out and get real mad.

[healerqueen]

[ dry ]

I see we're all off to a good start on keeping the votes organized.

[jinglebros]

Did you see the gift he hand delivered, just for me?

[meatitfeedson]

And you're lovin' it.

[jinglebros]

Please let me give you a hug for that.

[locktouching]

You've got him wrapped around your little finger. How fun.

..... [Fingers one of the toy suction cup arrows he picked up.]

I saw you speaking to my Lord Corrin. I wanted to make certain... you've come to care about him, haven't you? Are you using one of your votes on him?

[meatitfeedson]

If he's not careful, the King might be pounded into mincemeat.

Or even drawn and quartered.

[unexpectedboner]

What? It's true. I've been taking hot yoga.

[scribbly]

Does-n't!

[jinglebros]

Your Lord Corrin? [ Santa freezes a bit, his face paling. ] What do you mean by 'your'?

[ Totally misunderstanding here. ]

Yeah, I'm using a vote. But I can't do that next time, so someone else'll have to.

[jinglebros]

That term is redundant!

[godhole]

I get that, I do, and clearly this is the easiest route by which I can demonstrate my value, but it's kind of a lot, you know? I want to get laid so I can stop thinking about grisly fast food torture-murder.

[meatitfeedson]

Only if you whisper sweet 'n' sour nothings in my ear.

[jinglebros]

Mom please.

[unexpectedboner]

What if you were on the north pole? Santa should know something about how cold the yoga would be there.

[meatitfeedson]

It's too late to stop now.

[Why didn't McCafe exist in the 80s so I could make a latte pun too]

We're going full dad joke and there's nothing you can do.

[jinglebros]

The pole always points north when I'm on it, thanks.

[ Deadpan. ]

[meatitfeedson]

A King sized bad day, for sure.

[jinglebros]

You're not my dad!

[ ... ]