Day 2, continued

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Around lunchtime, the tablets and screens located all around the studio turn on, in the way that they always do when the mascots have something to announce. Unusually, however, there is no music, no fanfare; the camera is out of focus, and Ronald doesn’t even seem to be looking at it. Instead, he's turned to King, ]

—supposed to be 40! What the McFuck are you doing? Can you even count?

[ The King stares. ]

You gave out 41! The Colonel would never screw up like that!

[ The King stares. ]

And what's this, "Quarter Pounder or Whopper" garbage? Those aren't equivalent burgers, you fake-grill-line-adding piece of shit! I'd better not see this referencing this in your next ad campaign!

[ The King offers a Whopper. Ronald McDonald smacks it out of his hand. He starts to yell again, but cuts himself off, turning his head toward the camera. ]

—Are we rolling!? Grimace, kill the feed!

[ The screens switch off. ]

((lol I goofed, there are actually 41 votes to go around.

Vote here!
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Comments

[jinglebros]

The King is being bullied. I take offense.

[ Says the guy with the brand new tattoo of the King's face on his arm. Santa rolls his eyes and drawls out sarcastically, in a sickly sweet voice: ]

My poor darling~

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ A nearby TV screen sinks into the wall, and is replaced by a long metal tube with a rubber hand on the end, which slowly creeps out of the empty space. Upon that hand is a tray, and upon that tray is this. ]

[jinglebros]

[ Santa picks up the hamburger and holds it to his heart. This is a messy affair. ]

A love confession from afar?!

[exequte]

Are you really gonna eat that?

[jinglebros]

No way! I'm going to keep it for posterity.

[ Santa considers this and wrinkles his nose.]

That might get smelly, actually.

[exequte]

You'd better find somewhere else to keep it, then, because in about a day anyone eating it will probably get food poisoning, and if you leave it out longer, it could start to contaminate everything around it.

[jinglebros]

...

Here, sis, you eat some first. [ He shoves it in her face. ]

[unexpectedboner]

Hey! Marry him and you can finally be high-class!

[jinglebros]

He better try harder than a hamburger if he wants to propose to me.

[unexpectedboner]

Two hamburgers?

[jinglebros]

Not in the realm of hamburgers at all!

[ Huff, pout. ]

[bookmarking]

Aw, that's so sweet.

I ship it.

[jinglebros]

You think he'd take his mask off for me?

[bookmarking]

Maybe if you win the next bingo or whatever game they throw at us next.

[jinglebros]

Then fuck everyone else, I'm totally going for it.

[locktouching]

How terribly entertaining.

[jinglebros]

Did you see the gift he hand delivered, just for me?

[locktouching]

You've got him wrapped around your little finger. How fun.

..... [Fingers one of the toy suction cup arrows he picked up.]

I saw you speaking to my Lord Corrin. I wanted to make certain... you've come to care about him, haven't you? Are you using one of your votes on him?

[jinglebros]

Your Lord Corrin? [ Santa freezes a bit, his face paling. ] What do you mean by 'your'?

[ Totally misunderstanding here. ]

Yeah, I'm using a vote. But I can't do that next time, so someone else'll have to.

[locktouching]

[Smirks like he's close to laughing.]

I meant he is a lord that I serve under. I normally serve his brother, but Lord Leo has commanded me to protect him. ...Perhaps Lord Corrin will someday ask if you would join him as well, since he seems to like you.

...I greatly appreciate your helping him. Don't worry about next time, I will cover him then.

[digiteyesed]

Your poor creepy love! Who will defend his honour?

[jinglebros]

I will! With my weak, spindly arms!

[ Santa you have muscles shut up ]

[digiteyesed]

Santa truly is the hero we all need~ I bet he'll swoon right into your noodle arms any minute.

[jinglebros]

He already sent me a gift. I'm on my way!

[digiteyesed]

Whoa, for real? Congratulations on the start of your courtship. I'm rooting for you kids!