Day 2, continued

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Around lunchtime, the tablets and screens located all around the studio turn on, in the way that they always do when the mascots have something to announce. Unusually, however, there is no music, no fanfare; the camera is out of focus, and Ronald doesn’t even seem to be looking at it. Instead, he's turned to King, ]

—supposed to be 40! What the McFuck are you doing? Can you even count?

[ The King stares. ]

You gave out 41! The Colonel would never screw up like that!

[ The King stares. ]

And what's this, "Quarter Pounder or Whopper" garbage? Those aren't equivalent burgers, you fake-grill-line-adding piece of shit! I'd better not see this referencing this in your next ad campaign!

[ The King offers a Whopper. Ronald McDonald smacks it out of his hand. He starts to yell again, but cuts himself off, turning his head toward the camera. ]

—Are we rolling!? Grimace, kill the feed!

[ The screens switch off. ]

((lol I goofed, there are actually 41 votes to go around.

Vote here!
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Comments

[unexpectedboner]

A croissan'wich man? Or is it that he hasn't gone down on bended knee with a diamond-crusted onion ring?

[jinglebros]

He's gotta court me first! I'm a classy guy. [ okay santa ] Start with some roses, maybe some dancing, maybe some touch bonding. Corrin's already ahead of him two out of three.

[ Pause. ]

Not that he's courting me or anything, but it's an example.

[unexpectedboner]

...So what if ~Corrin~ gave you a burger?

[waggles his eyebrows]

[jinglebros]

[ Santa blinks, looks down at the burger, then back up at Junpei. ]

...I'd smash it in his face.

[ LIES ]

[unexpectedboner]

That's what he said...

[jinglebros]

[ Deadpan. ]

I hate you.

[ Secretly a lie?! ]

[unexpectedboner]

[laughs, quite pleased with himself]

[jinglebros]

I'm going to horrify you with more TMI about my past if you keep this up, just to get back at you.

[ He's serious. ]

[unexpectedboner]

Okay, okay, I give, that's not necessary!

[jinglebros]

You sure about that? Because there was that time with the chick with the real big ass...

[unexpectedboner]

[.........unsure whether or not to let continue]

[jinglebros]

It kinda wobbled when she walked, you know? But I figured I should try it, and she was really sloppily into me. I was just drunk enough to let it happen.

[unexpectedboner]

[vaguely feels like he should be able to see himself being set up for something and yet]

Well... When opportunity knocks...

[jinglebros]

You gotta come running, right? And opportunity's sure as hell came a lot for me, if you get what I mean.

[ DAMMIT, SANTA ]

[unexpectedboner]

Sure, sure, rub it in. There's probably more to life than just banging a lot of people, you know.

[jinglebros]

Probably is. And you're going to find that out with my sister, got it?

[ He raises a hand and whacks Junpei on the forehead. ]

Because I've been hearing something going around and it better not be true.

[unexpectedboner]

Ow! What the hell? ...How has there even been time to hear anything?

[jinglebros]

I don't know, but there's already rumours! It's fucking creepy, that's what it is!

[ Santa shudders. ]

[unexpectedboner]

I didn't hear any rumors! Are they juicy? I don't seem like a nerd, do I?

[jinglebros]

Nah, it's more like you have good taste. I guess you have that going for you!

[unexpectedboner]

That much is obvious.

[he says, wearing like 5 vests at once]

[jinglebros]

Yeah, sure. What are you, dressed for all seasons?

[unexpectedboner]

Just like a boy scout, I'm always prepared. I'm flexible and ready for anything!

[jinglebros]

Oh my god. Please think about what you just said.

[ Santa's not taking the bait this time! ]

[unexpectedboner]

What? It's true. I've been taking hot yoga.