Day 7

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Instead of his normal morning announcements, this morning you awaken to… Ronald McDonald playing a lovely tune for all of you with his band. Audible even over the metal is a louder sound of scraping, and a low rumble that persists throughout the song. ]

[ Afterward, you'll find that a new hallway has appeared in the studio. Where there was once an empty wall, there is now a theater! And your tablets will display the rules for a brand new competition… ]

((BATTLE OF THE BANDS
Private posts
Contestant Roster & Status
Game navigation))

Comments

[unexpectedboner]

You can pick out your own. Maybe some silver lamé ruffles?

[jinglebros]

The fuck is lamé?

[unexpectedboner]

The shiny fabric they use for leotards and idol clothes and super hero uniforms. Without it...life is pretty lame.

[jinglebros]

You sure know a lot about this shit, huh?

[unexpectedboner]

...I was gonna be a luchador in seventh grade. You pick stuff up.

[jinglebros]

Your dirty fighting makes so much more sense!

[ santa you're one to talk ]

[unexpectedboner]

Hey, I fight clean enough! I was gonna be a face, for sure!

[jinglebros]

Sure, whatever you say!

[unexpectedboner]

We had the whole arc written out. My buddy and I were rivals who were secretly old friends until a dramatic betrayal that turned him evil. But later, after the great unmasking match, it turns out that we're both good guys so we can team up. It was gonna be big.

[jinglebros]

Oh really? Give me a sample. Act it out.

[unexpectedboner]

Oh man, I dunno if I remember anything...

Something like... "Stop it right there, Shadowkage! I know who you really are! My sworn brother-in-arms, Dan! Your double-twist Frankensteiner gives it all away!"

[this is all punctuated with sentai-like arm gestures]

...But then we remembered that if you wear a mask you're not supposed to talk, so we had to change our plans.

[jinglebros]

That's... amazing.

[ Santa deadpans this. ]

[unexpectedboner]

To a seventh grader? It sure was.

[jinglebros]

...okay, I can see that argument.

[unexpectedboner]

It'd be a pretty cool job though, writing those stories. I mean, somebody's got to get paid to do it, right?

[jinglebros]

Maybe you can do that after you win this game.

[unexpectedboner]

Hah... Sure, use my star power from MurderDonalds to get a job plotting out wrestling arcs. I should be so lucky.

[jinglebros]

You've got to fucking use it somehow, why not that way?

[unexpectedboner]

...Sure, why not? Where's the camera? I'll be expecting that offer when I get out of here, wrestling promoters! I've got so many ideas.

[jinglebros]

There you go! [ Santa applauds. ] You show them who's boss.

[unexpectedboner]

It's important to be proactive when networking for jobs, I guess. Maybe now my folks will get off my back some. Not that I hope they're watching this. In fact, I really, really hope they aren't.