Game 2, Day 3

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Did everybody sleep well? At promptly 6 AM, or at least what the tablets proclaim to be 6 AM, Ronald bursts in with the morning announcements. ]

Good morning, kids! Today we have a fantastic new game for you to play, and we think you'll have a lot of fun! It's fun, it's a classic, iiiiiiiiit's



[ The feed switches off, but only for a second before flicking back on so Ronald can add: ]

Oh, by the way, Seven died trying to escape.

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Comments

[unexpectedboner]

In addition to other places... I was pretty sure I was gonna end up inside out, to be honest.

...What else has to be done? It looks edible to me.

[jinglebros]

The fuck did you eat?

[ Santa gives him a blank look. ]

You wanted curry and rice, right? This is not curry and rice. This is chicken.

[unexpectedboner]

I might've tried to make a poke bowl from some leftovers?

[shrugs]

It actually looks like chicken, though! It's not like you have to dump it in curry roux to hide how burnt it is.

[jinglebros]

...

[ Santa throws his hands up and looks Done. ]

[unexpectedboner]

...I know you did basically all the work, but I feel pretty accomplished.

[jinglebros]

[ Santa exhales out his annoyance. ]

You learned something, that's an accomplishment. Maybe next time you cook you won't shit out of both holes.

[unexpectedboner]

That's definitely an experience you only want to have once.

[jinglebros]

I'll say. Now why don't you try your creation?

[unexpectedboner]

Sounds like a plan!

[grins, reaching for a piece out of the pan]

--Ow, hot!

[jinglebros]

Crap! Don't burn yourself!

[ Wasn't Santa the one that was supposed to be prevented from that?! ]

[unexpectedboner]

[technically he was!]

Ooh!

[sucks on his finger before grabbing a fork]

[jinglebros]

You burn yourself bad? No wonder you're ending up with crappy hospital bills because of cooking!

[ it feels weird to show concern. IT FEELS WEIRD HELP MAKE IT STOP ]

[unexpectedboner]

Nah, it's no biggie. I just got excited about eating.

Man, remember when we were stuck in that freezer and just sat there forever while you guys talked about ice and we didn't get to eat a single Popsicle? You've definitely gotta add more food to your semi-murdergames, dude.

[jinglebros]

I'll remember that the next time I kidnap people and try to convince one of them to murder a few others.

[ Dry tone. ]

[unexpectedboner]

That's all you've gotta do to get those positive Yelp reviews!

[jinglebros]

[ Santa rolls his eyes but he's laughing. ]

Why are you actually funny today, what the fuck?

[unexpectedboner]

I'm hilarious pretty much all the time. It's not my fault your beerkfast helped you see what's obvious to basically the rest of the world.

[jinglebros]

So everyone else is drunk all the time, got it.

[unexpectedboner]

Blow it up your ass.

...This's pretty good, actually.

[jinglebros]

Yeah? Go ahead and eat it all. I'd probably throw it up.

[ He's feeling a little queasy at this point. ]

[unexpectedboner]

You should definitely eat something in that case. Get some of those greasy fries, McDonalds is perfect for this.

[jinglebros]

[ Suspicious look. ]

You sure about that?

[unexpectedboner]

You guys might know about ice-9 or whatever, but I know a lot about puking. You can definitely trust me on this one.

[jinglebros]

Pukemaster 5000, huh?

[ Oookay, Santa goes and collects some fries, coming back with them. He munches. ]

[unexpectedboner]

Definitely no more than like 2803.

Seriously though, it's something like the salt and grease bonds with the alcohol molecules to make you less wasted. There's definite science there.