Game 2, Day 3

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Did everybody sleep well? At promptly 6 AM, or at least what the tablets proclaim to be 6 AM, Ronald bursts in with the morning announcements. ]

Good morning, kids! Today we have a fantastic new game for you to play, and we think you'll have a lot of fun! It's fun, it's a classic, iiiiiiiiit's



[ The feed switches off, but only for a second before flicking back on so Ronald can add: ]

Oh, by the way, Seven died trying to escape.

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Comments

[jinglebros]

[ Santa snorts out a laugh at that one. ]

It's because you're rolling it around in its own juices, then you do a flipping motion and it flips around.

[unexpectedboner]

Sounds messy.

[pokes at it a bit]

...How do I know if it's golden brown and not just brown-brown?

[jinglebros]

Brown-brown is too brown. You want it lighter than that.

[ Santa stares at the pan and then - ]

Okay, now go!

[unexpectedboner]

[moves the thing!]

[jinglebros]

Good! You might actually not poison yourself this time.

[unexpectedboner]

I just learned to stick to the pre-cooked chicken strips. They're pretty amazing!

[jinglebros]

Well, now you know how to do it yourself if you're ever stuck using donated food. Precooked is expensive.

[unexpectedboner]

So is having to go to the emergency room to get your stomach pumped. It evens out, or at least that's what my parents said.

[jinglebros]

Who goes to the emergency room for that? Use a few fingers and skip the thousands dollar bill.

[ Santa gives good medical advice! ]

[unexpectedboner]

Wasn't my idea! I was sharing a place and my roommates freaked. To be fair, it was pretty messy.

[jinglebros]

What'd you do, throw up all over the bathroom?

[ He eyes the skillet and turns the burner off abruptly. ]

Okay, you're done with this part.

[unexpectedboner]

In addition to other places... I was pretty sure I was gonna end up inside out, to be honest.

...What else has to be done? It looks edible to me.

[jinglebros]

The fuck did you eat?

[ Santa gives him a blank look. ]

You wanted curry and rice, right? This is not curry and rice. This is chicken.

[unexpectedboner]

I might've tried to make a poke bowl from some leftovers?

[shrugs]

It actually looks like chicken, though! It's not like you have to dump it in curry roux to hide how burnt it is.

[jinglebros]

...

[ Santa throws his hands up and looks Done. ]

[unexpectedboner]

...I know you did basically all the work, but I feel pretty accomplished.

[jinglebros]

[ Santa exhales out his annoyance. ]

You learned something, that's an accomplishment. Maybe next time you cook you won't shit out of both holes.

[unexpectedboner]

That's definitely an experience you only want to have once.

[jinglebros]

I'll say. Now why don't you try your creation?

[unexpectedboner]

Sounds like a plan!

[grins, reaching for a piece out of the pan]

--Ow, hot!

[jinglebros]

Crap! Don't burn yourself!

[ Wasn't Santa the one that was supposed to be prevented from that?! ]

[unexpectedboner]

[technically he was!]

Ooh!

[sucks on his finger before grabbing a fork]

[jinglebros]

You burn yourself bad? No wonder you're ending up with crappy hospital bills because of cooking!

[ it feels weird to show concern. IT FEELS WEIRD HELP MAKE IT STOP ]

[unexpectedboner]

Nah, it's no biggie. I just got excited about eating.

Man, remember when we were stuck in that freezer and just sat there forever while you guys talked about ice and we didn't get to eat a single Popsicle? You've definitely gotta add more food to your semi-murdergames, dude.

[jinglebros]

I'll remember that the next time I kidnap people and try to convince one of them to murder a few others.

[ Dry tone. ]