Game 2, Day 3

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Did everybody sleep well? At promptly 6 AM, or at least what the tablets proclaim to be 6 AM, Ronald bursts in with the morning announcements. ]

Good morning, kids! Today we have a fantastic new game for you to play, and we think you'll have a lot of fun! It's fun, it's a classic, iiiiiiiiit's



[ The feed switches off, but only for a second before flicking back on so Ronald can add: ]

Oh, by the way, Seven died trying to escape.

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Comments

[unexpectedboner]

[gggoes to there?]

I do know how to turn on the stove. I've only burnt water once or twice.

[jinglebros]

Yeah, but what do you do after that? Tell me.

[ Stern. ]

[unexpectedboner]

Put food in the pot? Eventually it'll get hot and then you can eat it. Also you probably shouldn't wander off to play videogames partway through.

[jinglebros]

...you've gotten food poisoning before, haven't you.

[ Suspicious Santa is suspicious. He puts the skillet on the burner and then pokes Junpei in the side. ] See that flat utensil with the holes in it? Grab it.

[unexpectedboner]

Who hasn't gotten food poisoning before?

[grabs the spatula]

Okay, now what?

[jinglebros]

I'll give you that. I think I spent half of age nine with fucking food poisoning.

You're not usually supposed to use a spatula for this, you're supposed to flip the chicken by shaking the pan, but I won't make you do that. Use that flip all it when it's starting to golden brown on one side.

[unexpectedboner]

...How does shaking things flip them? It's not some snoring dude that can get up on his own.

[jinglebros]

[ Santa snorts out a laugh at that one. ]

It's because you're rolling it around in its own juices, then you do a flipping motion and it flips around.

[unexpectedboner]

Sounds messy.

[pokes at it a bit]

...How do I know if it's golden brown and not just brown-brown?

[jinglebros]

Brown-brown is too brown. You want it lighter than that.

[ Santa stares at the pan and then - ]

Okay, now go!

[unexpectedboner]

[moves the thing!]

[jinglebros]

Good! You might actually not poison yourself this time.

[unexpectedboner]

I just learned to stick to the pre-cooked chicken strips. They're pretty amazing!

[jinglebros]

Well, now you know how to do it yourself if you're ever stuck using donated food. Precooked is expensive.

[unexpectedboner]

So is having to go to the emergency room to get your stomach pumped. It evens out, or at least that's what my parents said.

[jinglebros]

Who goes to the emergency room for that? Use a few fingers and skip the thousands dollar bill.

[ Santa gives good medical advice! ]

[unexpectedboner]

Wasn't my idea! I was sharing a place and my roommates freaked. To be fair, it was pretty messy.

[jinglebros]

What'd you do, throw up all over the bathroom?

[ He eyes the skillet and turns the burner off abruptly. ]

Okay, you're done with this part.

[unexpectedboner]

In addition to other places... I was pretty sure I was gonna end up inside out, to be honest.

...What else has to be done? It looks edible to me.

[jinglebros]

The fuck did you eat?

[ Santa gives him a blank look. ]

You wanted curry and rice, right? This is not curry and rice. This is chicken.

[unexpectedboner]

I might've tried to make a poke bowl from some leftovers?

[shrugs]

It actually looks like chicken, though! It's not like you have to dump it in curry roux to hide how burnt it is.

[jinglebros]

...

[ Santa throws his hands up and looks Done. ]

[unexpectedboner]

...I know you did basically all the work, but I feel pretty accomplished.

[jinglebros]

[ Santa exhales out his annoyance. ]

You learned something, that's an accomplishment. Maybe next time you cook you won't shit out of both holes.

[unexpectedboner]

That's definitely an experience you only want to have once.